your thong is hanging out like whoa
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
