It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
