my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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