Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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