she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize