hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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