I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
