can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
