My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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