i don't like sucking hair
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
