Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
