Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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