let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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