tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
