The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize