If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
