"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
