I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If I die, sorry about rent.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
