Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
please come you make the beer taste better
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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