I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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