She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
