one might say we're banned from that church
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
