dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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