You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want to make out with him forever
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
