I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
