I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
