the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
