I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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