I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I want you more than these girls want KFC
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
