...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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