Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
