sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
