For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
