Slut skills are useful in every country.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Semen is not good for contacts.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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