You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
