I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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