she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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