The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
