last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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