I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
