you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
