these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
