There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
