Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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