Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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