Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
