You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
