I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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