Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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