census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
