I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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