Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
smell my finger.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
