I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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